I’m beginning to understand that my parents have this dynamic and how much impact it’s had (still has) on me. I’ve never considered myself an empath before, but a lot of this really hit me hard. Thanks for writing it.
Perhaps it's a useful concept to you. 'Empath' is a catch-all term and can easily be misused. As I was writing the article, I realised that it was a good starting point to help you grasp where you stand in this landscape, but then you'd need to refine that understanding and learn more specific concepts. In any case, one person being more 'reactive' and sensitive to a more 'rigid' person seems to be ubiquitous.
Thanks for this. I think your conclusion makes a lot of sense. There is another thing i have noticed looking narcissism in the iconically famous and this might be another part of why empaths are attractive from a narcissist viewpoint: the narcissistic person needs their partner to be vulnerable so that the relationship identifies them as non-vulnerable. Vulnerability is after all the opposite of grandiosity. The emotional expressiveness of the empath offers narcissistic supply because it conveys (and is) vulnerability.
Sorry, i meant that because they have found someone willing to play the vulnerable role, this makes them the non-vulnerable one. So the relationship functions to identify them as non-vulnerable.
I am not 100% sure this one describes how "I" came to be so empathic. My home life was almost devoid of parental presence--both parents were so addicted and dysfunctional that I was pretty much on my own raising myself--hence my major abandonment issues. But its interesting just the same JH--
Being left on your own like that can be pretty fear-inducing. I imagine you'd be constantly worried that your parents might not be there in the future at all.
How that fear of abandonment and fear of being on your own translates to becoming highly-sensitive I can't say exactly. Perhaps the core trauma itself creates a sensitivity to the environment as a survival mechanism. Complex trauma in general can either make you dissociated from the environment, or extra sensitive.
This also raises the idea that perhaps some people are simply born higher on the sensitivity spectrum in general. Siblings in the same family can be remarkably different, showing that it's not all environment. That needs to be acknowledged, no?
I’m beginning to understand that my parents have this dynamic and how much impact it’s had (still has) on me. I’ve never considered myself an empath before, but a lot of this really hit me hard. Thanks for writing it.
You're welcome, Lauren.
Perhaps it's a useful concept to you. 'Empath' is a catch-all term and can easily be misused. As I was writing the article, I realised that it was a good starting point to help you grasp where you stand in this landscape, but then you'd need to refine that understanding and learn more specific concepts. In any case, one person being more 'reactive' and sensitive to a more 'rigid' person seems to be ubiquitous.
Yes, the concept was super helpful and served as a good starting point, thank you.
Thanks for this. I think your conclusion makes a lot of sense. There is another thing i have noticed looking narcissism in the iconically famous and this might be another part of why empaths are attractive from a narcissist viewpoint: the narcissistic person needs their partner to be vulnerable so that the relationship identifies them as non-vulnerable. Vulnerability is after all the opposite of grandiosity. The emotional expressiveness of the empath offers narcissistic supply because it conveys (and is) vulnerability.
Thanks for sharing, Simon.
Yes, right. If both people are not vulnerable, there is nothing to bind the relationship together, let alone supply for the narcissist.
"the relationship identifies them as non-vulnerable" What did you mean by this line?
Sorry, i meant that because they have found someone willing to play the vulnerable role, this makes them the non-vulnerable one. So the relationship functions to identify them as non-vulnerable.
Thank you for creating this. It was very thought provoking and insightful. :)
Glad you got some value from it, Tina:)
I am not 100% sure this one describes how "I" came to be so empathic. My home life was almost devoid of parental presence--both parents were so addicted and dysfunctional that I was pretty much on my own raising myself--hence my major abandonment issues. But its interesting just the same JH--
Thanks for contributing to the discussion, Kari.
Being left on your own like that can be pretty fear-inducing. I imagine you'd be constantly worried that your parents might not be there in the future at all.
How that fear of abandonment and fear of being on your own translates to becoming highly-sensitive I can't say exactly. Perhaps the core trauma itself creates a sensitivity to the environment as a survival mechanism. Complex trauma in general can either make you dissociated from the environment, or extra sensitive.
This also raises the idea that perhaps some people are simply born higher on the sensitivity spectrum in general. Siblings in the same family can be remarkably different, showing that it's not all environment. That needs to be acknowledged, no?