What Makes A Narcissist Irresistible
Before you got mixed up in a narcissist’s dystopia, you laid eyes on them —and found them irresistible. I would propose, however, that it was not the narcissist’s physical attractiveness which lured you in, but rather that the attraction was Oedipal.
Most targets of narcissists have parents who register on the Cluster B personality disorder map. The parent might be a textbook narcissist, or a textbook borderline with pronounced grandiosity, or a borderline with a narcissistic overlay. In some cases, the parent might be a malignant (psychopathic) narcissist. At the very least, the parent will exhibit codependent and controlling traits.
In all such cases, the parent would have a certain demeanour about them, especially in the presence of their children. They may appear rigid, collected and unimpressed, much like any narcissist. Their posture, their body moments, even their energetic presence might have a particular flavour about it.
There might also be physical traits, such as a beard, a body type or a certain facial appearance. It could be a particular type of smirk, or a lack of any expression.
Hidden behind physical appearance and demeanour is the core of every narcissist: emptiness. Every narcissist makes a particular ‘peacock’ out of their persona to hide their inner void. An overt narcissist is usually energised and boisterous, a covert narcissist is more ‘shy’ and mysterious. Others appear humble and friendly.
While no two humans are alike, some are more similar than others. When a particular narcissist’s outer ‘peacock’ persona sufficiently matches that of someone’s parent, the person’s parental complex activates, causing them to feel irresistibly drawn to the narcissist. This can grow even more pronounced if the narcissist has a similar voice tone to the parent.
During this process, something resonates deep within the target’s inner child. They grow submissive, impressionable and susceptible to manipulation — much like a child. This is unconscious, of course, and the target assumes that it is physical attraction.
In reality, the target is being transported back to childhood. They see before them a carbon copy of their narcissistic parent, and they sense an opening to re-create the troubled relationship from scratch, only this time it has an opportunity to work out.
Or so they think.
Browse more of my articles:
Narcissistic Relationships | Knowing The Narcissist | Abuse Recovery | The Narcissistic Family| Exploring Narcissism | Borderline & Histrionic
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