Starving a narcissist of narcissistic supply can be exceptionally simple, yet only in the way a professional athlete makes their sport look effortless.
Thank you for this excellent article. I appreciate the depth you bring to this topic; and can feel you write from the hard-won wisdom of experience. Looking forward to more of this!
What is this state all about? I met a grandsons girlfriend on an out of state visit recently and on leavetaking she stared deeply into my eyes. I was okay with momentary deep eye contact but it continued. It was very disturbing and still bothers me. I felt violated by it.
It's such a fine balance, isn't it? Sometimes we can have zero tolerance for being truly 'seen'. Some people grow up in an environment where people interact with you as an object, rather than as a human being, which we get used to. Any authentic 'witnessing' of us feels bad or exposes us to our authentic self and all its wounds.
However, psychopaths and predators also use the stare to enforce dominance.
The psychopath explanation reminds me of "grey rocking". Thank you for this useful guide to doing the inner work required for coping with a narcissist.
You're most welcome, Claire. And yes, exactly. I described it as 'scorched earth' in my book, but the idea is the same. I wanted to give it a different spin in this case:)
Thank you for clearly explaining shadow work. This is the first time that it made sense to me.
You’re welcome, Cindy. I’m so glad to hear this. I’ve tussled with this concept for a long time, so to know that the message got through is great.
Thank you for this excellent article. I appreciate the depth you bring to this topic; and can feel you write from the hard-won wisdom of experience. Looking forward to more of this!
Thanks for the feedback and kind words, Matthew. It was absolutely hard-won, which makes your words even more meaningful. Much appreciated.
This article is BRILLIANT!!! Thank you, JH Simon.
What is this state all about? I met a grandsons girlfriend on an out of state visit recently and on leavetaking she stared deeply into my eyes. I was okay with momentary deep eye contact but it continued. It was very disturbing and still bothers me. I felt violated by it.
Thanks for sharing, Kelly. That's fascinating.
It's such a fine balance, isn't it? Sometimes we can have zero tolerance for being truly 'seen'. Some people grow up in an environment where people interact with you as an object, rather than as a human being, which we get used to. Any authentic 'witnessing' of us feels bad or exposes us to our authentic self and all its wounds.
However, psychopaths and predators also use the stare to enforce dominance.
It was disturbing and felt like it might have been dominance.
Listen to your gut.
*stare
Meant to say great article!
The psychopath explanation reminds me of "grey rocking". Thank you for this useful guide to doing the inner work required for coping with a narcissist.
You're most welcome, Claire. And yes, exactly. I described it as 'scorched earth' in my book, but the idea is the same. I wanted to give it a different spin in this case:)
Another great one - hits home! Absolutely what I had to go through - explained eloquently - brutal, but worth it.