How To Stop Being Angry At A Narcissist
In the same way you gave up your power to a narcissist, they continue to control you through your anger. What they say, how they act, how they treat you, what they do and the decisions they make; you have decided that the narcissist can press your anger button in such ways.
Anger is an uncomfortable emotion. It is also stigmatised in society. Being angry, in and of its own, is ‘immoral’. However, being angry at someoneabsolves us of that immorality. They did something wrong, and so we have the right to feel our anger.
Anger is an emotional energy which has to go somewhere. There is no way around it. You can repress your anger, deny it, and reject it, but it will express itself one way or another. Passive aggression. Physical illness.Finding an enemy and directing it at them.
How about shifting your paradigm? How about beginning by telling yourself that it is okay to simply feel anger. Rather than finding someone to direct your anger at, how about just creating time and space to simply be angry.How does it feel? Can you breathe into it, relax into it, and grow curious about it? Can you see it as simply an emotional energy within you? Can you declare yourself the owner of this energy?
Practicing simply being angry is the foundation of transformation. The temptation to direct anger at someone either in thought or practice is very tempting. Especially when you have done this for many years. If your mind takes over and creates angry thoughts, that is okay. Witness the thoughts, but above all, direct your focus at the anger itself. Welcome it.
Practice self-care while working with anger. It can have psychosomatic effects on you when you begin to own it. Sickness. Soreness. Shaking.Nausea.
Take your time.
Eventually, you will have processed and integrated much of your anger.When you have achieved this, you can decidewho to be angry at. You can use your anger to set boundaries. To say no. To assert your needs.
When you have become a master at honing your anger, you will be able to express it smoothly and skillfully. You won’t lash out and regret it later. You won’t remain trapped in an endless cycle of angry thoughts. You won’t seem like ‘an angry person’. You will simply communicate to others that you mean business, and that you have chosen your anger for good reason. In most cases, people will respect you and grow secure in your presence.
How liberating is that?
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Narcissistic Relationships | Knowing The Narcissist | Abuse Recovery | The Narcissistic Family| Exploring Narcissism | Borderline & Histrionic
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