How To Cope While In A Narcissistic Relationship

Dec 10, 2023

The narcissist is incessant in getting you to focus your attention, time and energy on them. Above all, they are incessant in their psychological attacks.

The narcissist is hyper-vigilant, constantly scanning you for any signs of dissent, indifference, or abandonment. Because they have a paranoid core, it takes immense effort to convince them that they are safe with you. Just to be sure, they inflict an all-out assault to get you where they need. They ridicule and judge you to keep you feeling small. They threaten and blow up at you to keep you afraid. They question every move you make to keep you in a perpetual state of self-doubt, walking on eggshells and second-guessing everything you do.

In the face of all this, it can seem impossible to cope, let alone heal while in a narcissistic relationship. How could you, when you have no space or time to do so? Nonetheless, you can begin carving a time and space within the chaos of your narcissistic relationship — until you decide to leave and go no-contact, if you decide to do so.

Firstly, find a place for solitude where nature roams. Nature is the perfect place for healing, because it is abundant in natural life energy. Above all, it is a place where life is in a state of harmony and being, which you can tap into on your healing journey. The narcissist’s dystopian world is driven by confusion, fear, shame and chaos. Nature is the antithesis of that.

So go to a park or into the woods, find a place, and sit. First, focus your attention on your surroundings. See the trees. The insects. The plants. The colours. Feel the water, if there is a lake or river. Enjoy the shimmers, the textures, the life. Hear the sounds of life in motion. Then breathe in that energy deep into your belly, and close your eyes.

Scan your body. At first, you might only experience incessant thoughts. But over time, those thoughts will clear, and you will move deeper. You notice shame. Anxiety. Anger. All the emotions the narcissist created in you while not allowing you to express them. Breathe deeper again. Let those emotions roam freely the same way the life around you is roaming.

You might get flashbacks to situations where the narcissist made you feel horrible. A critical voice in your head might badger you or want to yell back at the narcissist. Great. Witness it all and encourage it to express itself. Be spacious, and let nature support you as you undergo this difficult practice. When it gets too much, and the pressure makes you want to pop, relax some more. Allow more space.

Let nobody interfere with your time. Put your phone on silent. Gently push away the pangs of guilt you feel for being on your own. Take solace in nature. Be open to its healing qualities. When you return to your life, the madness will resume, but you will have that distant memory of what peace feels like.

Practice this as often as you can. Carve out space and time in nature, and allow the healing to begin. Even though there is far less of it when you are in a narcissistic relationship, there is nonetheless always time and space. It’s waiting for you.

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