Can Narcissistic Abuse Kill You?
People can ‘live’ with narcissistic abuse for years, if not decades. The damage being done, in the meantime, is like a slow-acting poison that slowly kills you.
As shame increases and self-esteem plummets, your curiosity and willpower slowly wither away. To fit into the narcissist’s rigid role, you have to restrict your natural flow of life energy. In short, you deaden the dynamic and spontaneous elements of the Self. You question yourself, judge yourself and hold yourself back. In time, you stop ‘living’ life to the fullest. We all die eventually, but for targets of narcissistic abuse, the process starts much sooner.
The target of narcissistic abuse stops evolving soon after the relationship begins. The life energy of the True Self, intended to be channelled toward one’s actualisation and growth, is funnelled into reinforcing the false self of the narcissist. This creates enormous pressure on the target, and mental illness can slowly emerge as a result.
Targets of narcissistic abuse suffer from physical ailments. Eating disorders, cysts, stomach issues, tightness of muscles, blood pressure, heart problems, and so on. A spirit turned back against itself is like a car having the accelerator and brake pressed simultaneously. Can this lead to early physical death? I believe so, yes. A spouse of a narcissist often dies first. Perhaps an academic study would shine a light on this.
In any case, narcissistic abuse deadens the soul of a person, dulls their mind and inner beauty, and slowly suffocates their willpower and curiosity. As any survivor knows, getting out of a relationship with a narcissist is like being reborn. Spontaneous life energy bubbles to the surface, and when enough releasing of shame and trauma is complete, the target of narcissism feels the tingles of possibility and new life. From near death comes new life. The fog clears, the darkness dissipates, and the sun rises again.
Browse more of my articles:
Narcissistic Relationships | Knowing The Narcissist | Abuse Recovery | The Narcissistic Family| Exploring Narcissism | Borderline & Histrionic
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This articles resonates, especially the part about the life energy of your true self being funnelled into reinforcing the false sense of the narcissist. I did this; and, in my personal experience, I now understand this to be a form of "idol worship." My littlest sister did it, too; and, devastatingly, she died of cancer at a relatively young age. I know/believe her death was all part of GOD's plan, etc., etc.; but, still, I can't seem to stop wondering what would have happened had she remained true to her "true self," that sweet, fun-loving, happy-go-lucky little sister I grew up with. Thinking back, it seems like my little sister never stopped laughing until she met "the narcissist." Thank you for this article, JH Simon. I believe it's another SUPERimportant one.