What Narcissists And Greek Tragedy Have In Common

Where Mythology And Disorder Meet

In Greek Mythology, ‘Narcissus’ was a man of exceptional beauty and arrogance, who spurned all admirers, before falling in love with his reflection in a lake, and seeking to embrace ‘himself’, fell in and drowned.

There are numerous versions of this story, with Ovid’s ‘Narcissus and Echo’ being the most popular. Ovid described Echo, a nymph who was unable to speak, except to repeat the last words spoken by someone else. One day, Echo spotted Narcissus hunting and fell in love with him. Eventually, Narcissus grew frustrated with Echo’s constant repeating of his words, and told her to get lost. This left Echo heartbroken and withered.

The myth of Narcissus has particular relevance to today’s discourse on narcissism. For one, we see somebody who accepts admiration from others, yet never their love. This captures the narcissist’s sado-masochistic approach to relationships, sabotaging themselves and others at every turn, proving to be a hard lesson for all who love the narcissist.

Echo, for her part, represents the codependent who admires the Narcissist in the wilderness, using their false self to ‘hunt after’ narcissistic supply. Echo mirrors the narcissist’s grandiosity back to them, hoping to be loved and accepted by the narcissist in turn. Many ‘Echoes’ are left hurt, traumatised and ‘withered’ after their ordeal with a narcissist.

Now that narcissists have taken over our public discourse, the tale of Narcissus is not only relevant, it is evolving. Like the Olympian Zeus, the narcissist is now not only considered arrogant, but seemingly all-powerful and all-cunning. Ask anyone online, and they will declare the narcissist to be the destroyer of worlds, the harbinger of suffering, and the villain of dreams.

There is nothing the narcissist can’t do, no limit to their evil ways. Much like the intrigue we find throughout Greek mythology, Narcissus has outgrown his humble beginnings through his manipulation, deception and abusive nature, coming of age as Zeus’ direct challenger. And with that, has also revived the fascination for Greek tragedy in the form of modern psychology.

The Evolution Of Narcissus

While the original Narcissus myth captures a narcissist’s core rather well, our emerging, 21st-century ‘myths’ about narcissists are filling in the gaps.

In the last few decades, the seed of the Narcissus myth from history has blossomed, while modern tales about him have coalesced to rival even Ovid’s ‘Narcissus and Echo’. Narcissus no longer simply spurns lovers; he love bombs them first, before cruelly devaluing and discarding them. Narcissus’ reflection not only deceives Narcissus himself, it also fools others through gaslighting and projective identification. Narcissus now triangulates current and past lovers to incite jealousy, weaves an elaborate fantasy world tailor-made for their ‘Echo’, and tortures and shames Echo in a multitude of ways.

Even Echo is receiving a makeover today. No longer does she wither away and die, having lost her sense of Self and authentic voice. The Echo of this new version of the myth responds by undergoing a heroic journey of self-discovery as she recovers from the abuse. She withdraws her love and emotions from Narcissus to starve him of his supply. She goes no contact where necessary, and seeks to come into contact with her authentic voice within. Courage and truth set Echo free from her tragic fate, and elevate her to exalted status in Mount Olympus.

Alas, a happy ending does not come so easily, however. No matter what we seem to do, narcissists are persistent beings. They shapeshift, able to bypass our awareness and wit. Perhaps the next phase of this evolving myth will reveal Narcissus not as a singular, evil entity, but a multi-headed dragon, or a glimmering, always-changing kaleidoscope we need to remain on the lookout for.

The Elusive Narcissist

‘Proteus’ is a sea god in Greek Mythology, also referred to as the god of ‘elusive sea change’, who could change into any form. Proteus knew everything, including the future, yet shared his gift with nobody — unless they captured him first. To evade those looking to apprehend him, Proteus would assume any necessary shape, such as a lion, a tree or a serpent. Once trapped, however, Proteus would change back to his real form and tell all to his captor.

The narcissist we know is an addict, playing out a predictable script to secure narcissistic supply. Yet the narcissist is also a shapeshifter, much like Proteus. To fool his target, a narcissist takes on whatever form captures the target’s imagination and therefore disarms them. All-wise sage, charming lover, genius, sex siren, authority figure — the narcissist can be anything. As long as the narcissist can maintain the illusion, they evade being exposed. Yet if you corner the narcissist and challenge their grandiosity, the truth of who they are comes out, and you witness their real form — that of a petulant child full of rage and prolonged grief.