The Narcissist’s Lifelong Villain Arc

A villain arc is used to describe a period of time after tragedy strikes a person’s life, leading to them becoming selfish and self-centred to cope with their trauma.

The simplest example of a villain arc is after a breakup, where a person isolates themselves and undergoes extreme self-improvement. Think break-up beards and style changes, gym memberships and solo travel.

A villain arc is intended to process pain by setting harsh boundaries. It is a space to work on oneself to restore self-esteem, to ‘hate the world’ so that one’s rage at being betrayed can be released without doing others harm.

When Villain Arcs Go Underground

In most cases, a person transitions out of their villain arc in due time. They gradually warm again to the influence of others, become more social and agreeable, and look to try the world again.

But what if the trauma happened during childhood? What if the betrayal occurred at a time when a child could not process it? And finally, what if that traumatic betrayal fundamentally changed that person’s personality?

This is precisely the case with a narcissist. For one reason or another, the narcissist could not get the attention, care, love and acceptance of their mother. Left feeling rageful, unwanted and inferior, the narcissist was flooded with life-threatening shame. As a result, they pushed this horrible experience deep into their unconscious, and replaced it with a grandiose false self.

In typical cases, a person’s villain arc is conscious, and it is surface-level. That is, while the hurt or betrayal causes terrible distress, it can be processed over time. In the case of the narcissist, their betrayal is unconscious, and it emanates from their core.

Caught In A Loop

Because their betrayal is unconscious and core-deep, the narcissist never acknowledges their betrayal, and does not release the pain of it. Instead, they dwell in a thin layer of consciousness made up of their false self and their imagination. The narcissist lives in fantasy, and forms relationships within this fantasy realm. Each relationship begins with an idealisation phase; a wondrous beginning with a ‘perfect’ person. As soon as that person demonstrates behaviours contrary to the narcissist’s grandiose expectations, the narcissist devalues and discredits that person in their mind, and finally, abruptly ends the relationship.

As years progress, the narcissist remains caught in a loop, carrying out many idealise-devalue-discard cycles over and again. In effect, the narcissist’s every waking moment is a villain arc, as they scramble to prove their worth and superiority, desperately attempting to redeem their self-esteem. However, this redemption has nothing to do with their current relationship. It is tied to the mother, and to a lesser extent, the father. Behind all of the narcissist’s relationships lies one great villain arc which never comes to a completion.

The lifelong villain arc is the reason the narcissist is so selfish, rigid, condescending, contemptuous and obsessed with themselves. The only time they take a break from this is when they are swept up in the idealisation phase, which is only temporary and plays no part in redeeming their villain arc.