Spotting A True Narcissist In An Attention Economy

Welcome To The Narcissism Economy

I recently set up an Instagram account and began posting. I tried to make natural poses, and include inspiring quotes which reflected my authentic experience as a writer. Yet after just three posts, I had an undeniable sense that I was entering into narcissistic territory. From this discomfort sprang a series of connected thoughts aimed at reassuring me. I began telling myself: This is how the world is now. There are millions of content creators online, fighting for attention. This is how you promote your business. We live in an attention economy. This is normal.

Job Title: Professional Narcissist

Browsing through TikTok and Instagram, it doesn’t take long to spot someone dancing or pulling off a stunt. Provocative titles lead you into homemade sketch comedy, many starring a busty woman in revealing clothing with her partner-in-crime. Other times the video is simpler and more direct. A woman or man simply stands in a pose, making micro movements or turns to put themselves on display. They may be promoting the clothing they are wearing, but often not.

The advent of social media has made gaining attention not only socially acceptable, but an indispensable part of our economy. Many people’s livelihoods now depend on the eyeballs of the many. For a true narcissist, the money would be nice to have, yet the undivided adoration of thousands or even millions of followers is where the gold is. A steady stream of anonymous likes, notifications and comments create a kind of virtual narcissistic supply.

So what would happen if all of this virtual supply dried up? Even if this content creator or influencer still had all the money in the world, how would they feel? The same as any narcissist, in all likelihood. They would feel the pain of narcissistic withdrawal.

Coming To Terms With A Narcissistic World

As someone with C-PTSD, my need for attention is shame-bound, in that I feel weird having it. Attention activates my guilt, telling me that I’m unworthy of it. What scares me, however, is the sense that when I do get that attention, I might just like it. That little potential psychopath or narcissist in the back of my mind, lurking within my shadow, pushes me forward while egging me on, reminding me of how great I can be — if I only let my doubts go. Thank God for my conscience. Impulsive as I can be in my complex-trauma responses, my conscience is always waiting for me when I come around.

A true narcissist is a narcissist from a young age. Being the addicts that they are, narcissists are notoriously inept at controlling their impulses. Their conscience has been shut off. If they can use you for supply and satisfaction, then they will. All that keeps their pathology in check are your boundaries, and the accountability and morals enforced by their community. Many narcissists toe the line in traditional and conservative societies, or at least do their work in the dark to avoid being exposed.

Now a new world has emerged, allowing narcissists to flex their pathology while turning it into a job. The overlap here with pornography is striking, where society channels its sexual needs into an entire industry. In some ways, the attention economy might be the healthiest path for narcissists to take. If a sexually-frustrated person can take out their aggression on pornography rather than harassing someone with it, is that not better? If a narcissist can step into the online spotlight and draw their narcissistic supply from virtual adulation, is that not better than them manipulating, shaming and abusing others in order to secure a source of supply?