Can You Be A Narcissist And Have Borderline Personality?

When grandiosity splits from reality and becomes pathological, then a narcissist is made. Yet grandiosity is inherent in every person.

We all need to have a basic level of entitlement for having our needs met, and even to go as far as having the audacity to dream big. But we need to respect the rights of others, and we need to pursue our dreams realistically. This is healthy narcissism.

Narcissistic personality disorder is a post-traumatic condition rooted in C-PTSD. However, borderline is also rooted in C-PTSD. What’s fascinating about narcissism is that it solves many of the symptoms of BPD. Emotional dysregulation, acting out, suicidal ideation, push/pull, fear of abandonment; narcissism greatly reduces these symptoms through a singular solution: the false self.

The false self is built on grandiosity and a permanent dissociation from the world. Where the borderline has holes in their defences, the false self is generally air-tight. While narcissists can be reckless, distant and sensitive to rejection and abandonment, they rarely experience these as extremely as the borderline. The borderline is like a wounded person without a bandage, whereas the narcissist has a bandage in the form of the false self. Push their wound hard enough, and they will feel the pain.

The core weakness of the false self is the need for narcissistic supply. Narcissists do not fear abandonment as much as they fear the loss of supply. If the narcissist is offended or loses supply, then the symptoms of borderline may show up. But the more durable the false self, the more hits it can take. In the worst cases, the narcissist can supply themselves through auto-eroticism, delusions and dissociating further. In extreme situations, when the false self is viciously attacked or loses critical supply, the narcissist may devolve into a complete borderline state.